A ride with "Drunken Auto Walla"

I happened to visit Tirchy recently on an official work. After the work was done, I went to srirangam kovil and had a good darshan. I hired an Auto to go to busstand from srirangam. The auto guy asked me 150 rs and I bargained him for 100 rs and with out any arguments he accepted. I felt proud of my self :) for that deal. The auto driver appeared as a middle age man . After getting inside, I told him to go to the destination as soon as possible. It was fine until then.

After few minutes, I noticed the auto was going in zig-zag fashion. But I didn't pay much attention to that as I was in conversation with one my friends on phone. Suddenly the zig-zag pattern became too much annoying as the driver started trying to bang the vehicles coming in the opposite direction. I asked him to drive carefully and for that he replied "Don worry Sir, I am super man". I was shocked as I didn't expect that kind of English resposne from him. He used the same wordings as such and that is when i realized that he was drunken. I asked him to stop the auto . He didn't care that and continued his blabbering. He said, "you said go fast. we going fast. no worry". I had no other option other than listening to his stupid blabbering. Below are few excerpts from his blabbering

• "We are going to bus stand safely. I drive like this always. Boost is the secret of my energy"
• "You know, 35 years back I am a player. Don think cricket player. i am a football player. I am an umpire and kick the players"
• "Why u fear? No fear"... etc etc

He used the exact English as above. After some time, by gods grace he some how took me to the destination and luckily he stopped me there with out any dilemma. I got down and gave him the money. He refused to take the money and asked me to wait there and listen to his football story. This is what I call as the heights of nuisance created by a drunken person. I kept the money on the back seat and escaped from that place. Thank God, the traffic was really low that time. Otherwise, I couldn't imagine the after effects of his zig-zag driving...